This is Sktchy muse Calysta. While I was drawing her I was thinking of the things I miss.
I miss small talk in the margins of meetings.
I miss passing the time with neighbours in the street.
I miss the sound of children heading to and from school through my open window and the distant hubbub of the school playground at playtime.
I miss pub lunches and chip shop suppers.
I miss days at the farm.
I miss not feeling scared, anxious and sad all the time.
I miss feeling in control of my mental health, my agoraphobia and claustrophobia.
I miss being able to just leave the house and go somewhere, anywhere, when I want to, just to remind myself that I am able to do that these days. Will I be able to do that by the time the lockdown is over or will I be agoraphobic again?
I drew Calysta on my iPad Pro using the Procreate app.
How many of you, like me, feel like you’re disappearing from the world in this lockdown? We have no material impact on it any more. The only presence I have in the world is the one I have here, in cyberspace, through my words and through my portraits. And I feel so inarticulate when I write, at least when I draw I feel as though I’m expressing a little of what I’m feeling.
At the moment I feel as though I’m gradually vanishing, so that if, in a few days time, I disappeared completely, no one would notice. This portrait of Ariana expresses that feeling very well indeed, that the outer edges of me are already gone, melted away into nothingness.
I drew this portrait on my iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil using the Procreate app.
This is Sktchy muse Sydney drawn in a Hannehmühle Nostalgie sketchbook. I sketched her with a blue Pilot ENO mechanical pencil and then hatched over that sketch with a purple Pilot ENO mechanical pencil.
I’m not feeling well today. I’ve got a killer migraine and a horrible flare up of both CRPS and fibromyalgia symptoms,so this was really all I could manage to draw. Hoping I’ll have more energy tomorrow.
Today’s Sktchy portrait is of Tara. I chose this inspiration photo because it reflects how I look on Zoom midway through most afternoons these days – though considerably older and less attractive, it’s the expression and posture I’m referring to really. I’ve always done some of my work remotely via Zoom but I’m finding spending the day going from one Zoom meeting to another with little time to breathe in between exhausting.
Spending so much time in front of a screen is also making my chronic migraines even more frequent than usual. So, despite all the advice not to touch our faces, I’m afraid I’m head-in-hand or head-clutching even more often than usual.
Having said all that, I know I’m lucky to still have work. In fact, I’ve got more work now than I had before the lockdown and I don’t want to complain about that, not least because I don’t know how long it will last. As anyone reading this who’s also self-employed will know, the curse of self-employment is that you have to take the work when it’s there because you never know what the future might hold, and that’s especially true in these Coronavirus days. I’m just hoping that my eyes, body and brain will adjust and the migraines will ease over the next few weeks.
I drew this portrait in a Moleskine watercolour sketchbook, painted it with Zecchi watercolours and finished it with Prismacolor coloured pencils.